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Chatting online should be done with some care.
It can be fun, but you must be aware
That chat rooms are occupied mostly by liars
And guys who are chatting to quench their desires.

The problems with boinking someone you can't see
Are obvious, at least it would seem so to me.
For example, one problem is how can you tell
That the woman you're with's not fifteen (or a male)?

Allman4u has a system perfected
To ensure that the finest mates will be selected.
"Any hot ladies desiring to chat
PM me right now!" (It's as simple as that!)

He never quite could figure out in his mind
Why no one PMed him, since he was so fine.
Then one night a lady, a live one, a honey
Sends him a PM, but just to be funny.

She was eating a pizza and watching TV
And chatting while folding her fresh washed laundry.
With right at the moment nothing better to do
She decides to have fun with Allman4u.

I'm naked, she tells him, between bites of pizza
I'm hot and I'm frisky and ready to please ya'.
She puts down the pizza and wipes off her chin
Then calls on her roommates to come and join in.

Tell him he's gorgeous, the roommates all giggle
Tell him his loving is making you wiggle.
And while all the roommates are having a chuckle
Allman4u fumbles with his belt buckle.

While he administers sloppy wet virtual kisses
Upstairs on the bed (in the buff) is his missus
She's waiting for him and has everything ready
She's poured on the perfume and peeled off her teddy

But hubby downstairs has a much better offer
A woman that's sweeter and sexier and softer.
The pic that is posted with this female's handle
Is a woman to whom his wife can't hold a candle.

The picture, of course, looks nothing at all
Like the girl who has answered Allman's mating call.
Allman4u's August Playboy is late
Or he'd have spotted that picture on page thirty-eight.

Things start to heat up, Allman is on fire
He's posting like crazy, the passions run higher.
He's virtually rubbing and sucking and licking
In his mind he can see his cyber-love kicking.

Occasionally she will post back with an answer
Encouraging her pal, the cyber depantser,
Telling him what a fine job he is doing
And how great he is at virtual screwing.

I'm sorry, she says, that I couldn't reply
My hands were quite busy rubbing my thigh.
I'm an animal, he says, while beating his chest
What a stud, what a man! Woo-hoo! I'm the best!

Her hands were quite busy, that much is true--
She's chatting on Pow Wow, WBS and ICQ.
She's watching TV and she's folding her washing
And her roommates are laughing and all oh-my-goshing.

Wow, you're fantastic! She posts one last time.
You make me feel so incredibly sublime.
And while all the roommates laugh hard at the joke
Allman4u is having a smoke.

The point to note here is the net could be masking
The fact that your cyber mate is multi-tasking.
And while chatting's fun it can never replace
Making love to a women IRL face-to-face.

Frank Leany

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