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Americans are Just Uncomfortable

Hillary Rodham (Clinton), lawyer, investor, real estate speculator and health care expert is now seeking to improve her public image. She believes that America has somehow gotten the mistaken idea that she is a cold-hearted, win-at-all-cost control freak. All she did was try to socialize 14 percent of our gross domestic product, lie about investments and real estate dealings, abscond with documents, obstruct a federal investigation, frame a former law partner for her crimes and debase every Christian value Americans have always subscribed to. Even the Speaker of the House thinks she's a bitch. Recent attacks on her lack of scruples have left Ms. Rodham-Clinton's tender feelings hurt to the point of driving her to hire consultants to coach her on how to demonstrate that she's naive and innocent.

Barbra Streisand, well-known expert on political affairs, human psychology, and social reform has an explanation. Since it can't possibly be that we resent crooked lawyers trying to run our lives, Ms. Streisand says that America's rejection of Hillaryism is because "A lot of Americans are still “uncomfortable” with a strong woman."

Always eager to study the great intellects of our day I set up an appointment to meet with Ms. Streisand recently while I was scheduled to be in the LA area. I had a rental car all lined up, but while trying to coordinate our busy schedules, Ms. Streisand graciously agreed to pick me up at the airport and drive me to the hotel and we could conduct the interview en route.

Being something of a muscle car aficionado myself, I was pleased to see that Ms. Streisand was driving a 1968 Ford Mustang fastback when she came to pick me up. I had settled into the passenger’s seat and was looking through my notes while we backed out of the parking spot, when a loud screech of tires made me look up in surprise. Barbra had backed out without looking and had barely missed having the rear quarter panel of her fine classic car removed by an oncoming car. Through my window I could see the glaring driver of the other car, to whom Streisand was oblivious as she pulled forward with a squeal of spinning tires on the pavement.

I held on for dear life while she hurled the car around the end of the row of parked cars, narrowly missed a pedestrian, and squealed to a stop behind a line of cars waiting to pay and exit the lot. While she laid on the horn, I tried to decide how to phrase my opening question about Americans being “uncomfortable” with strong women. I was startled by a grinding of gears and then the car hurtling backwards, screeching to a stop and lunging forward in a violent arc.

Ms. Streisand flew past another car, who had to make a violent maneuver to avoid us and roughly slid the Mustang into a small gap where a car had moved forward before the line of cars behind him closed the gap. The car next in line had to hurriedly pull out of line to avoid being broadsided by Streisand’s maneuver.

“Did you see that?” She squealed. “Did that guy just flip us off?”

I said that yes, I had seen that and yes, I did believe that one of us had just been flipped off.

“Oh, well,” Ms. Streisand sighed. “I guess a lot of people are just uncomfortable with classic Mustangs.”

Frank Leany

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