Everyone needs a regular routine for printing off the
latest column to read over lunch. In the interest of helping you
occupy the internet connection your boss provides, here are my
suggestions for how to use your time until the lazy writer of this darn
blog posts something.
Of course, every day you need to read the news. I recommend
The Nose on Your Face, news so fake you'd swear it came from the Mainstream Media.
HT to Sid for the link.
Monday: Michelle Malkin
Michelle Malkin is a great conservative
bastion and very smart lady. You loved her book "Unhinged" and you can
read her columns here.
Or you can use Monday to catch up on
Tuesday: Dave Barry's Column
Dave Barry is often imitated but never duplicated (and believe me, I've tried).
If you want something more political for Tuesday just go to
Jewish World Review to
read some good stuff.
Ann posts her new column every Thursday. You'll find that there are two sides to every
issue: Ann's side and the wrong side. You can also browse Ann's past columns
(saves you the price of her new book).
Friday: Charles Krauthammer
Krauthammer posts every Friday. Just a good, smart conservative columnist.
If you want someone who gets it just as right, but is easier to read, try
Thomas Sowell. He just posts at random times.
Or just follow the links above and below this section (you can't have read all my archived articles
already). If you have read all my articles (you need to get out more) go to my
I'm Not Falling For It section.
Above all, try to stay calm. Eventually I may post something
I cleared four inches of global warming off my driveway this weekend and drove to work in a
blizzard again this morning.
I told you about the bear story and the guy I work with—the one I just refer to as 'Joe.'
I was relating to 'Joe' how the leaders at the girls camp had put out food for the bears.
Dumb, dumb, dumb. If there's something dumber that can be done I don't know about it.
So 'Joe' said "Sounds like a good idea. Give them what they want and they'll leave you
He was serious. I fell right on the floor laughing. Plop! Right on the floor. I told him
"You've done it, Joe. You've captured the essence of liberalism in one sentence."
He then proceeded to give me a treatise on not locking your house or your cars because
if the bad guy wants something and you have it locked away you'll end up with a broken
window. Now either he was serious or he has an incredible sense of humor and composure
and was trying to fill the gap left in my life when Phil Hendrie got pulled out of this
That's the liberals "plan" for dealing with terrorists. Give them what they want.
Trouble is, they want to kill us.
ADD moment. Thirty seconds—that's how long I watched Letterman last week and I will
never, ever, not for a millisecond, ever watch that piece of crap again. He was talking
about how the rest of the world hates us. This was, naturally, in context of a story
about a gal in Texas who got breast implants. Yeah, of course I see the connection
between implants and the world hating America. Isn't it obvious?
Just simple liberal self-loathing.
You could be talking about lawn mowers or cup holders and it would be evidence to a
liberal that the world hates America.
Anyway, liberals advocate "understanding." Just figure out what evil people want and
give it to them and there will be no problems.
The evidence that this doesn't work (I mean, you know, other than just hearing that
ridiculous statement) is provided to us by the liberals themselves. Give me one
instance when the Republicans have "reached across the aisle" to the demorats and
not gotten raped for their kindness. One.
"Healing the wounds," "rising above politics," "cooperation for the good of the country"
are all demorat phrases that mean "Just a little closer, don't worry about what I might
be holding behind my back."
If you had to capture this whole concept in a few words or less this would be it: Clinton
staffers trashing the White House as they left.
When Bush's staff went to move into the White House offices they found that Clinton's
staff had vandalized the place. We would have been shocked at anything different, given
the classiness of their boss. But, as you might know, vandalism is frowned on in some
polite societies—even to the point that, and I've heard this is true, it's illegal in
some places. Vandalizing a national shrine? I'm quite sure that's not an activity
engaged in by people who are trained to use toilets.
After the vandalism was reported in the press Bush declined to launch an investigation.
He decided to just let it go, intent on making good on his pledge to "change the tone
in Washington." So instead of filing a report he said, "Hey, don't worry about it."
They had the damage repaired but didn't make a big deal about it.
In thanks for that very mature reaction to a the demorat's very childish behavior the
left (prepare to scream) called the Bush administration liars. They said that the
vandalism had never happened, as evidenced by the fact that no report was filed.
The incoming staffers just made the whole thing up to make the Clintons look bad
(and you know how hard that is to do). The very fact that Bush was making good on his
promise to change the tone prompted the left to write self-righteous stories about
"So this is changing the tone--Making up lies about vandalism?" They wrote more stories lying
about the vandalism being a lie than had been written about the vandalism.
That's it. That captures it. In fact, it is a nice compact encapsulation of a lot of things.
One of them being how Bush never learned that he could never please the people that
hated him (for beating them in a election), but he did manage to lose the support of his
base by trying.
I Demand an Apology
I don’t remember the issue, but I remember the lesson. It might have been the Imus affair,
but I don't think so. Conservatives were urging someone to apologize to the demorats,
and Coulter was saying "Don't you dare." A day or two later Medved said that he had
advocated apologizing, but now he realized that Coulter was exactly right.
Far from healing, an apology leaves an opening for these people to get their teeth in you.
They are the animals that instinctively attack you when you're on the ground bleeding.
You don't apologize to these people. You don't reach out. You don't trust them.
They will burn you every time. Every single time. They have never once done the honorable thing.
Proving Yet Again . . .
That no issue is so complex that it cannot be illustrated with a car analogy.
Here's how this works. You walk into a car dealership. They guy you are dealing with is
a crook. You cannot trust him. He's a cheat and a liar. That's what he does for a living.
Every day he practices his craft of deception. You spend eight hours a day designing
graphics for underwear catalogs and vacuum cleaner brochures. That's what you're good
at. This guy is good at cheating.
You know some of his tricks. You know not to give him the keys to your trade-in (to just
check out the uh, something, uh, VIN, yeah, we need to check the VIN) or your license to
photocopy (the machine's been slow, I'll check in a minute and see if the office staff is
back from break and getting that done). You know he's lying when he says someone's coming
in 15 minutes with cash to buy the vehicle. You know not to fall for the gap insurance and
you know not to let them finance it in-house at 12%. You know enough to negotiate the
out-the-door price so they don't add $1200 in "official fees."
You aren't fooled by the pictures of his family on his office the wall. The fact that
he says likes the same football team you do almost gets you, but you keep your wits.
But you can't know all his tricks. That's not what you do. You don't live to play the
game. All you want to do is buy a car. He's a crook. It's his nature. He does this all
day every day.
That's one of the 21 reasons the Republicans are constantly getting their --- kicked by
the demorats. They just plain don't see it coming.
ADD Moment (HT GB)
I will never understand why there is a law that prohibits me from sticking a fountain pen
through the forehead of a car dealer who takes my keys and refuses to give them back. It makes
One of the favorite activities we do for the scouts is to have fire-building contests.
We provide the raw materials and each scout has to lay a fire with the right combination
of tinder, kindling and wood. We stretch a string across the areas and the first scout
to burn through the string is the winner. We might limit the number of matches they can
use, or make them run across the yard to get a new match.
Here's something we don't do. We don't deny them matches or give them matches that
won't light or give them wet firewood or a string that doesn't burn. We want them to
succeed, so we don't place impossible conditions on the assignment.
That's what Obama has done to himself. He has a task (or is it "tax"?) to "fix" the economy. It's a
task that can be done. But he is incapable of doing it.
His basic makeup—his constitution, if you can still use that word without being
arrested by his secret police—includes barriers that make it impossible to accomplish.
Here's the assignment as Obama's ideology presented it. "Okay, Barry, to get your
Economics merit badge you have to fix the economy. Okay? Oh, but wait. You have to make
the unions happy while you're doing it. They have to get all their exorbitant demands.
Oh, and did I mention? Socialized medicine. Yeah, you have to do that, too. And massive
spending on every whacked out "environmental" idea. Massive spending. And tax the
people who are providing the engine for the economy. Tax them heavily. But not just them.
Make sure that regular wage earners can't get deductions. Implement the same centralized
control of the economy that has failed every time it's been tried. Go ahead. Fix the economy."
I hope I don't really need to explain this
You understand that Obama's aim is not to fix the economy. All those things I mentioned
aren't barriers to his fixing the economy. "Fixing the economy" is his excuse for implementing
all those things.
Incapable of Leading
I can't remember who said it, but someone pointed out that these people are incapable of
leading. I compare it to the dog who catches the car--okay, so now what are you going to do
Their expertise is in complaining about what the leaders are doing, holding protests, staging
sit-ins, bashing Republicans on late night TV (as well as all day long in print and on TV).
Now that they are in power the only thing they can think to do is just bash Fox News
and whine about Bush and Karl Rove.
Quote of the Day
"As long as the nation is obsessed with historic milestones, is no one going to
remark on what a great country we have where a mentally retarded white woman can become
speaker of the house?"
If you've noticed that the tone of the blog today lacks my usual pacific, conciliatory
feeling, you may be right.
It might seem like I'm just lashing out, like maybe the things I'm whining about aren't
exactly the things that are bothering me. It's kind of like something that happened to a
close personal friend of mine. While giving a presentation to the Board of Directors last
week the boss jumped him for something meaningless. My close personal friend went to
the next slide in the PPT which fully addressed the "concern" his boss had raised,
but it seemed like the point was more to make him look bad in front of the board.
Well, two days later the boss called in my close personal friend and jumped him about something
completely different, revealing what was really eating him about the presentation to the
board. That's a common thing that psychologists surely have a name for, probably transferrance
or something like that.
So the psychologist in you might be wondering if something else might be eating at me.
I wouldn't get too carried away with the analysis, if I were you. For example, I wouldn't
get crazy and think that maybe in spite of my warnings about the predatory maneuvers of the
demorats, that I ignored my own advice and got out-maneuvered by a co-worker.
Sometimes a cigar is just a ladder-climbing co-worker trying to stab you in the back.
Global Warming Update
We are one week into spring. It has snowed 5 days of that week. I drove to work in a blizzard this morning.
A Very Complex Thing
Of course, Global Warming is a very complex thing. It's too simplistic to dismiss Global
Warming simply based on the fact that it's cold and the planet is cooling and the evidence
of anything different has to be faked. I understand that. It's not a simple thing like
"Fighting for peace is like –ing for chastity" or "I saw a picture of Cheney frowning,
therefore he is evil."
It's not a simple thing like Bush wants to poison drinking water (because he moved to keep the
current standards of arsenic levels of 50 parts per billion (which Clinton maintained
throughout the entire eight years of his so-called presidency), instead of mandating decreases to
10 parts per billion that Clinton proposed but never implemented on his way out as part of a
big wish list of "Impossible things to implement that I don't have to worry about that will
make Bush look bad," a proposal which studies showed would actually decrease public safety).
It's a more complex thing, like sex in the Oval Office with a young intern whose name you can't
recall is not sex at all. I understand that.
In Tribute to Ms. Padilla
I'd like to take a moment to pay tribute to Ms. Mary Ann Padilla, who taught me and the rest of the
eighth grade Civics class what a Bill of Attainder is.
I know that you, as an informed reader of Leany on Life, also screamed "Bill of Attainder!" at the
TV or radio the second you heard that Congress was planning to target specific individuals with a
90% tax—an act specifically prohibited by the Constitution.
First of all, it's now public knowledge that Congress KNEW about the bonuses when they passed the
law. Chris Dodd specifically made that provision. Whether the bonuses should have been paid or not
is immaterial. It's law that the US Congress passed.
But now that the script reads "feign outrage" they are using the legislature to go after
individual US Citizens.
These people are knowingly and blatantly violating the Constitution. They are challenging us:
"Sure, we're trashing your country. What do you think you're going to do about it?"
Maybe all the lawyers that comprise our legislative body just haven't learned what you and I
learned in the EIGHTH FREAKIN' GRADE!
Yeah, and Faith Hill is waiting outside to play tonsil hockey with me.
Smile! You're on . . .
I was at BYU the weekend before last. They had an art display in the HFAC, and it had some
pretty cool stuff. It was stuff that you couldn't fit in a frame and hang on the wall. For
example, they had this outline of a car with trash hanging from strings.
One of the works was a booth. The instructions said to hit the play button on the CD player
then step into the booth.
I pushed the button and then stepped behind the curtain. Inside the booth were two speakers.
Nothing was coming out of them. I went back out and looked at the CD player. It was playing
and the volume was up. I started to go back in, but then it occurred to me. I was the art.
If it was some kind of sick 'ha-ha we fooled' you kind of thing, I wasn't falling for it.
I know this because when I was a kid they had a show called Candid Camera. They would use hidden
cameras to film people's reactions to silly situations. Some people might be too young to remember that show.
We call them "Obama Supporters."
Here's the setup. First Obama decides to "shut down" Guantanamo Bay. He accomplishes this by
building a prison elsewhere and then moving the prisoners, then shutting down the prison. So
nothing has changed, but, hey, he did "shut down Gitmo" just like he said.
Then, in case you didn't clue in at that point, he says that people who kill our soldiers on
the field of battle will no longer be called "Enemy Combatants."
Then there was Timmy Geitner, the empty Commerce department, the Special Olympics comments . . .
complete freaking amateurs.
For the benefit of anyone who still hadn't clued in that this is a Candid Camera episode and not
an actual presidency, he sent someone down to the local Wal-Mart to grab some DVDs to give to
Gordon Brown, the UK Prime Minister. And just for good measure, then gave him back the bust of
Churchill that Great Britain had gifted us.
Complete freaking imbecile. Absolutely incompetent. Total freaking idiot. Well, at least he
hasn't slighted leaders of other nations like Sarkozy.
Oh, wait . . . .
Another display in the art show was a video of someone vacuuming stuff up. It was pretty cool.
They used the same technique that Bewitched used back in the sixties, where the vacuum went over stuff on
the floor, like pictures or a picture frame, the camera was turned off while the actor stayed still (all you could see was his feet),
the stuff was removed, and the camera was turned back on. The effect was that the big stuff got
sucked up into the hose. It was pretty cool.
Until I read the placard.
It said that white civilization borrows all of its culture from other cultures and the work depicts
what a vacuum white culture is.
At that point I engaged in some performance art of my own.
Well, one thing about that: The art major that put that display together will have plenty of time
during his career to philosophize about whether the fries he's cooking were borrowed from France.
I don't know why this wouldn't work . . .
Got this in my e-mail. Makes more sense than what those crooks/idiots are doing right now.
There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force. Why not pay them $1 million apiece severance with these stipulations:
1) They leave their jobs. Forty million job openings - Unemployment fixed.
2) They buy NEW American cars. Forty million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed.
3) They either buy a house or pay off their mortgage- Housing Crisis fixed.
All this at a fraction of the cost of the "bailout."
We watched Transporter 3 over the weekend. I enjoy mindless car chase movies. And they're educational,
too. If it weren't for Transporter movies where would you learn facts like this? Any time the situation
is hopeless in a car chase, just shift to a different gear. Works every time.
But that's not the story. The story is when the movie was over and we hit the stop button.
Access Hollywood was on. What I'm saying is that we did not choose to tune into Access Hollywood.
As incredible as it seems, I honestly do not care who's banging Lindsay Lohan this week.
They were reporting on the Barrack John FDR Kennedy-Luther King Hussein Obamaham Lincoln visit to Jay
Leno. The video was of a hallway and the reporter was saying "Obama came down this hallway . . . "
So I started clowning around. I breathlessly screamed "Can you believe it. That very hallway. No,
he was! He was walking down that very hallway."
I thought I was pretty funny, as did my kids. The Little Mrs. managed a tolerant grin. But
I couldn't keep up with the competition. The reporter took my histrionics and went exponential
with them. "Then he stopped RIGHT here!" The camera panned to the floor. I kid you not. The
camera panned down to a spot on the tile floor. "He stopped right here!" and then they showed
footage of them shooting the video that night from the end of the hallway. You could hear them
squealing like teenage girls. I swear, Elvis never got that much screaming and swooning. Then,
I am not making this up, the camera goes all sideways and around and down, like the person
holding it just couldn't keep it together.
The "reporter" said "Then he SMILED at us!" I swear I heard her tinkling in her drawers in the background.
Access Hollywood. I can't think of a more fitting place for the Incompetent in Chief.
I like the song "Amazing Grace." I like it because it has a good melody that you can do a lot with and the chord changes are
simple, making it a good song to teach structure to kids with. I also found that when people ask me to sing solos in LDS
meetings and I sing that, they don't ask me so much in the future.
Since this guy was nice enough to put his mp3 on the internet for free, you might want to think about
buying one of his CDs.
This is another fantastic version of it, right here.
(Embedding is disabled. Double-click to go to YouTube.)
Then a friend sent this one to me (his wife teaches primary, where I used to have the kids sing this one all the time. I wonder
why I don't have that calling any more?).
You probably know that Jay Leno is doing a comedy show in Detroit. It's for people who have
been hit hard by the economic downturn in that town. It's free. The parking is free, the
tickets are free, Pepsi is helping to sponsor it . . . It's a great thing. It really is.
Leno just wants to relieve a little bit of the pain. He has a truckload of money and he's in
a position to help, so he organized this whole thing pro bono to do his part to help out.
His free tickets are selling for $800 on eBay.
What you need to understand is that there's no law against that. The people who are doing that
are not violating any eBay rules or US laws.
The other thing you need to understand is these people should have their genitals removed with a
salad fork and then be fed to a pack of hungry wolves. They are scum. They are sub-human.
Here's why I give a crap: I think it was John Adams that said our system was designed for a
moral people and is completely inadequate for any other. At some point laws become inadequate.
At some point people in society have to understand the difference between right and wrong.
This has been eating at me on a low level for some time now. It's interesting that yesterday
morning I was getting fuel and wondered "What if I had bought Chevron.com back before the internet
was a hit?" Then that night I saw the Leno tickets deal. The Leno deal is a great example of what
I'm talking about; it's one very easy to understand manifestation of the disease. It's the exact
same principle as spamming. You have systems that intended for a certain thing and some lowlife
will figure out a way to violate the spirit of the thing and screw it up. You can think of dozens of
examples—half of them having to do with the internet. People screwing up Google searches and YouTube . . .
Here's an example: Returns. The idea of being able to return stuff to the store is so you're
not stuck with something you don't want. It's not a free rental system. Again, there's no rule
against buying something with the intention of returning it after you use it, but it's just
not right. If you need to understand it on a practical level, it screws the system up for the
rest of us. Sure, it's clever. But it's sleazy. It's like that completely fictional character
I made up—completely out of my imagination without any reference to any real person who was
educated well beyond his intelligence—who was so clever about breaking in to the company
computer systems that he was denied all access and eventually lost his job (in that order—that's
how you know it's fiction, because anyone that sleazy in real life would have been fired first and
then denied access to the systems).
I've always been intrigued by the idea of ethics courses. I guess I should take one, because I'm
curious. What do they teach in there? How can you give someone honor if he doesn't have it?
I suspect that the whole reason a person would study ethics is the same reason they'd study lie
detectors—to figure out how to beat it.
Well, there's a whole book worth of material here. Without a certain level of trust society ceases
to function. All our energies go into self-defense instead of cooperation. Take away the goodness in
America and you've got Somalia.1 When the sleaze factor ceases to be a deterrent to some
little financial gain, we are all through.
But I've bored you enough about it, so I'll shut up.
1Nothing against Somalia, I guess. Who am I to judge if you prefer poverty stricken
societies where your children are virtually guaranteed to die by disease, starvation or gunfire
and you have to eat beetles to survive?
How is Yoko Ono like the children in Somalia? They both live off of dead Beatles.
I thought this picture of Michelle Flintstone was interesting . . .
That's the shadow of a TelePrompTer on her face. Isn't it funny that the device that her husband
uses to make himself look good makes her look bad?
Michael Savage Made a Great Point
I really hate listening to moronic commercials. I won't do it. That's my excuse for being tuned
in to the Michael Savage show last night. And I'm glad I was.
Just before he signed off he made a great point. I was really surprised at how insightful it was
and how much sense it made. It offered a great way to understand what's going on these days.
Unfortunately, I was so shocked that Michael Savage had made a good point that I completely forgot
what it was.
Open Line Sunday
You're familiar with Rush's Open Line Friday.
Live from the Southern Command in sunny south Florida via New York City, it's Open Line Friday!
Then Rush comes on to explain that Monday through Thursday he, the all-knowing, all-caring Host
guides the content of the show. But on Friday he takes a huge occupational risk by allowing callers
to discuss whatever they want. It's a radio talk show feat akin to walking a tightrope without a net.
I'll give you an example. On Tuesday a person might call in . . .
"Mike in Omaha, welcome to the EIB network, you're on the air."
Yes, Rush, dittoes from the breadbasket of the nation. I just wanted to comment on the way Obama
is now trying to put a positive spin on . . .
"I know. I know. As you'll recall I pointed this out last . . . Snerdley, do we have that audio?
Folks, here's the deal. What's that? Yes. Uh-huh. Yes, but . . . uh-huh, uh-huh, well of course I
realize that to the audience it sounds like I'm talking to myself . . . what? Uh-huh . . . okay . . .
Thanks for the call, Mike."
But on Friday what you'll hear is:
"Susie in Cleveland, welcome to the EIB network, you're on the air."
Yes, Rush, dittoes from the home of the looniest senator on the planet. I just wanted to
comment on the way polls that say you come across as arrogant . . .
"I am not arrogant! Listen, do you think I don't see what's happening here? I understand
these polls better than anyone. I see them before anyone knows about them. I am not arrogant!
What's that? Yes. Uh-huh. Yes, but . . . uh-huh, uh-huh, well of course. . . what? Uh-huh . . .
okay . . . no, I don't think that blowing off callers to talk to someone they can't hear is arrogant.
Thanks for the call, Susie."
See the difference?
You get it. You understand that the difference between "Monday through Thursday" and "Open Line
Friday" is the date on the calendar. It's a charade everyone willfully buys into.
And you understand that Rush is not an idiot. If he let people flap their gums freely he would
get comments like "We've got to stop those people who are having babies just so they can get more
Read that comment again and tell me you don't feel like you just got hit in the head with a #10
can vacuum-pack filled with Stoo-Pid.
Well-meaning converts to conservatism can get caught up in the zeal of the religion without fully
understanding the doctrine. That's when you get idiotic comments from new converts who think a car
dealer's right to make a profit supersedes a consumers right to make a choice.
Look, I'm glad you're in the church, but could you please bone up on the doctrine a little before
you spout off your mouth making us all look like idiots? Thanks.
Part of the problem is that our religion doesn't have a well-organized canon of scripture for you
to reference to make sure your views are in line with the doctrine. Actually we do have Frederic
Bastiat and Adam Smith, but how many card-carrying conservatives have actually read them? They
get their doctrine from Rush and Glenn Beck and practitioners of priestcraft like Hannity.
Then they say "Okay, so Big Business is good, people are bad. I think I've got it."
Conservatism could take a lesson from the LDS church.
The LDS (Mormon) Church has very well defined doctrine. If you hear a Mormon say something it's
very easy to check and see if that's his own idea or if it's official teaching of the church. And
members are always studying it. If you get on public transportation in Utah you'll see half the
people in the bus or on the train reading their scriptures. (The other half have body piercings
and are planning their next rape, but I digress.) Mormons study their religion . . . well,
religiously, and the more they study the closer they come to the same conclusion the rest of
the members have.
That's why the LDS church can do what Rush would be a fool to try.
The first Sunday of every month in every LDS ward house across the world, the pulpit is turned
over to the members of the congregation to say whatever pops into their head. Seriously.
The other Sundays the leaders assign talks on specific subjects to members of the congregation
or someone in church leadership. But in "Fast and Testimony" meeting people in the pews walk up
and say whatever's on their mind. It sometimes makes for some entertaining church meetings. Even
so, I have rarely heard anyone say things that are way outside of the teachings of the Church.
Rarely, but not never. In that case the person conducting the meeting got up at the end and said
something diplomatic like "The views expressed here are not necessary those of the owners and
managers of this station."
But his comments weren't directed to the ones that already understood the doctrine. They were
for the benefit of those who weren't well-versed in the teachings and might be confused by
messages that were inconsistent with the core beliefs.
Those people on the outside looking in are the ones that are damaged by the spouting of views
that make no sense. Conservatives would do well to remember that.
In case you haven't heard . . .
We are so screwed.
Some gal was talking to . . . I can't even remember, either Glenn Beck or the guy sitting in for Michael Medved. Anyway,
she said that the government should be the one to pick the winners and the losers.
Sure. Someone has to decide which businesses succeed and which ones fail. And it should be the government.
What the . . . ?
'Cause you can't trust private businesses and corporations. They're all so corrupt.
As opposed to the government?
No, but I just think that's the proper role of government. I think they should be the ones to do that.
Hello? Does the consumer have any role at all in this?
Seriously. The fact that one moron expressed that opinion on a nationwide radio show extrapolates to a group of people that believe it.
I wonder what group that would be?
I wonder if it's the group who voted for the man who was going to end all earmarks—the man who just signed a bill with
nine thousand earmarks. You know, the man who said they were good earmarks because they were going to government jobs,
and everyone agrees that you can trust the government, that everyone knows that's where money needs to go, but money in private industry
is just a bad idea.
Did I mention that we are so screwed?
A palette cleanser
A man and his wife walked into a dentist's office.
The man says "Doc, I'm in a big hurry. I have a tee time in thirty minutes and two buddies waiting out in my car to go play golf, so
forget about the anesthetic. We don't have time to wait for it to work, so just pull the tooth and be done with it."
The dentist thinks 'What a brave man, asking to have his tooth pulled without any painkiller.'
So the dentist asks him "Which tooth is it, sir?"
The man turns to his wife and says Honey, open your mouth and show him."
On the Night Stand
I mentioned that I was reading Bernard Goldberg's book "Crazies to the Left of Me, Wimps to the Right: How one side has lost its mind
and the other has lost its nerve."
In addition I am reading (since I know you care so deeply about the topic):
How Wars are Won
50 Greatest Military Leaders in History
The Mountain Meadows Massacre (by Juanita Brooks)
A Slobbering Love Affair: The True (And Pathetic) Story of the Torrid Romance Between Barack Obama and the Mainstream Media.
(Bernard Goldberg likes sub-titles)
Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett (recently finished "Truth, by the same worthy wordsmith)
A History Lesson
Back in 1850 California became a state.
The State had no electricity. The State had no money. Almost everyone spoke Spanish. There were gunfights in the streets.
So basically, it was just like California today, except back then women had real breasts and the men didn't hold hands.
Is Your Palette Sufficiently Cleansed?
'Cause I'm going back to ranting.
I like Rush okay. I don't go out of my way to listen to him, but if I happen to be in the truck between 10:00 and 1:00
I'll tune him in. For as obnoxious as he is, he figures it out and says things the way they are.
But I like him a lot more since the Politburo targeted him for character assassination.
As you'll recall, Rush is the one that said he wants America to fail.
Those of you with a brain who realize what Rush really did say, stick around. You really should read
what he said in the CPAC speech.
De facto head of the Republican party or not, the man may be our last, best hope to save America.
Now, about my still-to-me mysteriously controversial comment that I hope President Obama fails. I was watching the
Super Bowl . . . I wanted the Steelers to win. I wanted to win. I wanted the Cardinals to fail.
This notion that I want the President to fail, folks, this shows you a sign of the problem we've got. That's nothing
more than common sense, and to not be able to say it! Why in the world do I want what we just described: rampant government
growth, indebtedness, wealth that's not even being created yet that is being spent . . . What possibly is in this that anybody of us
wants to succeed?
. . . So what is so strange about being honest to say that I want Barack Obama to fail, if his mission is to restructure and
reform this country so that capitalism and individual liberty are not its foundation? Why would I want that to succeed?
Let me add a caveat here. My friends, I know what's going on. I know what's going on . . . I mean, there's some people
"You can't say you want the President to fail." Ladies and gentlemen of the United States, the Democrat Party has actively
not just sought the failure of Republican presidents and policies and now wars for the first time, the Democrat Party doesn't
stop at failure. Talk to Judge Robert Bork or Justice Clarence Thomas about how they tried to destroy lives, reputations
and character, and I'm supposed to say I don't want the President to fail? [Applause] We're in for a real battle. We are
talking about the United States of America . . . we're talking about it remaining the country we were all born into and
reared and grown into. And it's under assault. It's always under assault. But it's never been under assault like this from
within before. And it's a serious, serious battle.
Again, everyone knows what he was saying. It's the same old thing—any excuse to target somebody. There's not a person on
the planet who needs this explained to them. If you don't like Bush (because he whupped you in two democratic elections)
just latch onto the war as your excuse.
But the fact that the Politburo is targeting him makes me love the man. He's my general. He's our hope in this battle.
He's the Republican that owns a pair.
And because he does, he's a threat to those who want us to lie down and let them "re-make" our country. They've enlisted the
aid of their little minions, including Leno and Letterman, who apparently believe Limbaugh should be taken out and shot because
he's overweight. (Hint: when the liberals actually start executing that plan that just duck behind Michael Moore-on and Rosie O'Donnell.)
Chuck Norris is crazy. I'd appreciate it if you'd not tell him I said that, but he's nuts.
You knew this from the way he backed the religious bigot in the Republican primaries (ultimately leading to the nomination of
John McRino, which lead to the election of Barrack John FDR Kennedy Hussein Obamaham Lincoln).
So Chuck says he might have to run for the President of Texas. You know, the old Republic of Texas thing that comes up from the
lunatic fringe every so often.
Whatever. He can say what he wants. But here's the real part of this story:
Chuck Norris is now the de facto spokesman for the Republican party.
It's all a very complex mathematical thing, like Ptolemy's epicycles. Chuck Norris's statement is proof that all Republicans
are lunatics ready to secede from the Union, but Obama didn't share any of Jeremiah Wright's views.
Once upon a time there was a small town in southern Utah County. One day the City Council of that town determined that
the free-standing carports that were becoming so popular could no longer be used. It cited concerns about the carports
possibly becoming unstable in the event of winds over 100 mph (because you know what a common occurrence that is).
Meanwhile, in another part of town, in a completely unrelated story, the man who manufactures those carports continued
to run his business on a piece of property that he had refused to sell to a member of the city council.
Moral: When the reason you're being given makes no sense, you can bet there's one that does.
(It makes you wonder if such a town would cancel a soap box derby, citing "insurance concerns." I'm just sayin' . . . )
A Model of Graciousness
The election is over. Republicans are anxious to repair friendships with the other party.
The rest of the world may not be able to understand how, after bitter election campaigns, American politicians can
kiss and make-up. Governor Sarah Palin is setting the example.
For instance, Gov. Palin has invited the men who defeated her, Barack Obama and Joe Biden, to her great state of Alaska.
She has set up a moose hunting trip for their enjoyment and hired three prominent experts in their field to assist them.
Dick Cheney will lead them on the hunt, Ted Kennedy will drive them back to their cabins each evening,
and Bill Clinton will entertain their wives and daughters while the hunters are afield.
What a lady! That Sarah is such a good sport!
Global Warming Update
It was 9°F this morning and we had 8" of new snow on the ground.
Apple Products are Fast
That is, their clocks gain time. If you set your iPod's time today, it will be five minutes fast next week.
Same thing with your Mac. Look at the clock right now. It's fast.
That's my excuse.
That's the reason I listened to the radio. I didn't mean to, I was just trying to set the clock on the iPod docker
and it came on.
So Bob Lonsberry, who's okay for a morning host, was talking about this Rush Limbaugh tempest in a teapot that Rahmbo
Immanuel has cooked up. For just some morning guy on the radio he really got it right.
He said you have to understand that the basis of the democrat party is Marxism. Sounds harsh (he pointed out) but that's
the way it is. That's the way you understand the hatred that's at the root of the democrat party. It's class envy; pitting
one group of people against another. For eight years they've had one message: "We hate Bush." Now they need a new target to hate.
Enter Rush Limbaugh.
Pretty insightful of Bob.
I call it the Hitler Hustle. I discovered it in the eighth grade when I found out a girl I liked but didn't have anything
in common with also disliked the band teacher. Instant connection. So if you're Hitler and need to establish a common
connection, hey, we all hate the Jews! That's all you need to know, we're united in our common hatred of the Jews, never
mind my politics.
Leno the Liberal
Lonsberry caught my attention because I had watched Leno last night. After Headlines he had on Elizabeth Hasselbeck.
I thought that would be interesting, so I stayed up.
Leno, who is a liberal, said "I'm not a liberal or a conservative, but the conservatives are getting pretty loud lately,
Hasselbeck pointed out that Keith Olbermann is pretty loud as is Chris Matthews.
Leno said "Oh, but that's different."
Then Hasselbeck gave the answer I was thinking, that maybe the conservatives needed some fire under them.
Then Leno (who is a liberal) said "What's the deal with Rush Limbaugh wanting Obama to fail?"
Hasselbeck pointed out that for the last eight years democrats have been openly wanting Bush to fail.
Leno said "Oh, but that's different."
I Hope the Lakers Fail
I'm a Jazz fan. I like it when the Jazz win. In order for that to happen someone else has to lose. So, yeah, I want the
Lakers to Fail. Duh.
Now, if you're a demorat you just read that sentence "I want the NBA to fail."
This is the same old thing. I think the original sentiment was expressed a century ago as why women should not get a
college education—if they are attractive it's unnecessary; if they are not it's inadequate.
Rush Limbaugh has the guts to say what all conservatives think: He hopes Obama fails in his attempts to make America a
socialist nation. If you understand this you don't need me to explain. If you don't, I can't help you.
But the demorats do understand it and intentionally distort it. That's what they do. That's who they are.
So I intentionally try to explain it in a way that taps into the blood lust of those who agree with me and raises the
blood pressure of those who don't.
That's what I do. That's who I am.
The demorats are saying Rush Limbaugh said he hopes the country fails. Yeah, whatever. Bite me.
Obama intends to destroy my country. You're damn straight I hope he fails.
Now, on to Hasselbeck's answer to why conservatives are "loud."
I am reading a book by Bernard Goldberg called "Crazies to the Left of Me, Wimps to the Right—How one side has lost
its mind and the other side has lost its nerve."
That sums it up. The left is crazy, but the right lets the left run roughshod over them. Bush gets called every name
in the book, but if you question Obama it's the firing squad for you. Back when the left was bashing Bush for taking pre-emptive
measures against terrorism Laura Ingraham pointed out that they bashed him for not taking pre-emptive measures
before 9/11. She said "You just can't win." I said "Sure you can. Don't let the lunatic left dictate what you do."
The Republicans are right. Almost always right. But they are scared to death to defend their position. If there is
one complete set of testicles in Washington (outside of Hillary's pantsuit) it's in a jar in a museum.
The best illustration of the Republican's inability to defend against the demorats is when Bill Clinton
(pardon my language) shut down the government.
I've flapped my gums about this before. Clinton orchestrated a shutdown of the government over a budget.
He didn't gain anything on the budget. So you had to wonder why he went to all the trouble of doing the shutdown.
It made no sense.
Until the campaign. The demorats started talking about how the Republicans shut down the government. I said "What?
Are you outta' your mind?" The RNC said nothing. As the demorats continued this tactic I was literally screaming at the
TV. "Are you not seeing what's going on here?" The RNC said nothing.
Finally, the Sunday before the Tuesday election Haley Barbour was asked "Do you regret shutting down the government?"
He said, "I regret not getting the truth out about what happened with the government shutdown." I just wept. Good job,
moron. Two days before the election. Way to be a leader.
Of course the demorats cleaned our clocks in that election.
What's the Deal?
That's only one of thousands of examples.
So as we watch them unfold, the little Mrs. and I have been trying to figure it out. Why do the Republicans keep letting
the demorats get away with that?
Here's what we've come up with so far.
The Republicans have absolutely no . . . uh . . . uh . . . spine.
There's a saying: You can't cheat an honest man. While the saying is certainly not true, the sentiment has a valid base.
It's the "to catch a thief" concept. The person without guile is not expecting to be snookered. Okay, even someone as
partisan as myself is aware that Republican politicians are not "without guile." But they certainly aren't as good at
it as the demorats are. So they don't see it coming or don't recognize it when it does.
The Republican are just not smart enough. They are completely outclassed at playing this game.
The press is totally in the tank for the demorats.
"We hold these truths to be self-evident . . . " Some things just shouldn't need explaining. The republicans don't see
the need to refute things that are so obviously false. They would spend all day every day countering the demorats' lies
"Listen, people, the moon is not made of green cheese!" But by not addressing transparent lies, the Republican
overestimate the intelligence of the average American, They are apparently unaware of the old lawyer trick. You make an
accusation in a court document. If the other person doesn't counter it, it automatically goes on the record as being true.
Make a lie simple enough, tell it long enough and it becomes the truth.
Countering lies is a tricky game. To even address it gives it a certain measure of credibility. It's the old "I won't
dignify that comment with a response" deal. You get into that game too much as it sounds like "The lady doth protest
too much." And, as we already discussed, the Republicans are lousy at playing the game.
Finally, it's the deal with co-worker who can do no wrong in the boss's eyes. He's stealing credit for everyone else's ideas,
but it's not going to work for you to lower yourself to that level and blow your own horn. You can get caught in the "how much
self-promotion is too much?" trap. Worse, if you point out where the
boss's pet is off-base, you're crazy by definition for disagreeing with the One Who Can Do No Wrong.
If you get too defensive and too strident you get caught in the Sean Hannity Effect, where you just sound like a crybaby.
Of course these aren't separate points that each stand alone. They all work off each other.
Karaoke Night at the White House
Holy cats! Talk about your amateur hour in Washington D.C. Who are these people?
In keeping with long-standing tradition, Britain's Prime Minister Gordon Brown
gave Obama some gifts on a recent visit. One was a pen holder carved from the timbers of HMS Gannett,
a ship used by the British to
combat slavery in the 1800s. He also gave a framed commissioning paper from the HMS Resolute, which is
the sister ship of the Gannet and also the
ship the desk in the Oval Office is made from. And then he gave a first edition biography of
Winston Churchill. All very carefully thought out gifts.
In exchange, Obama gave Prime Minister Brown--I swear, I am not
making this up--25 classic American DVDs. Imagine how that exchange went down. "Gifts? We were
supposed to bring gifts? Run down to the Wal-Mart and pick something up."
I guess Obama's International Relations major--you remember, the one that qualified him to be president--didn't
include the information that our NTSC discs don't play on the PAL players in the United Kingdom.
Then on top of that, Obama also gave back the bust of Winston Churchill
that England gave to us on 9/11 as a symbol of unity. I swear, I am not making
this up. As my son said "What's next? Is he going to send the Statue of Liberty
back to France?"
Then Hillary takes a gift to Russia. It's a green box with a
green bow and inside is a red button. It's a reset button. No, seriously. It's a
red button that says "Reset." Is every single person in this administration
drunk? Including the translators. What it actually said in Russian is "overcharge."
I watched the exchange on TV. Oh my freaking gosh. What a spectacle. My wife
seriously thought it was an SNL skit. She kept saying "No, really, what was
that? I can't believe they're already making fun of the administration. Who did
that? How did they put that together?" The only way you knew it was not an SNL
skit is because it was hilarious.
Biden is in Afghanistan today.
Just in case you didn't know, the sentence above is followed by an automatic
Those Who Don't Read Ayn Rand Novels
. . . are doomed to live them.
A Quick History Lesson
Here's how America got where it is today. This all started when Bill Clinton, the most worthless waste of
protoplasm that ever emerged from a placenta, took up the saxophone instead of the electric guitar. His
unfulfilled need to be a rock star led to the disaster that we are still paying for today.
Demorats elect Bill Clinton (pardon my language), even
after finding out he's a complete scoundrel.
Republicans point out that Bill Clinton
(pardon my language) is a complete scoundrel.
At this point the demorats could still
probably concede that, yes, their guy was probably a bad choice,
but the Republicans are so belligerent in their attacks the
can't swallow their pride
Demorats attack Republicans for attacking
Bill Clinton (pardon my language). They have crossed the Rubicon. They
are so vested now that anything but a total assault on Republicans is
tantamount to an admission of their guilt in supporting the guy.
Republicans go "What? How can you attack us
for a completely justifiable concern we have about the character of the
President of the United States? You guys are just scum!"
Bill Clinton (pardon my language) says "Are
you going to let those guys attack me like that? Go get them! Go on. Go!
Republicans respond by defending themselves
. . . and impeaching the worthless piece of crap occupant of the Oval
Demorats swear they'll get even.
George Bush beats Al Gore, winning the
election, being voted in by the people of the United States in a
democratic election. He wins the election. He beats Al Gore. He wins.
Did I mention he won the election?
Demorats say "Now it's our turn. You came
after our guy? Watch what we do to your guy! You may have the right
position on issues and all the guns, but we have the press."
Republicans respond by . . . well, largely
just ignoring the demorats. That and pandering to them in places where
they have no chance at all of garnering favor, but where they will
definitely alienate their base.
Demorats win the election.
Republicans drop out of politics, spending
their energies buying guns and food storage.
But, as you know
I don't do politics anymore.
Federal Funding for Stem Cells
"Socialism, like the ancient ideas from which it springs, confuses the distinction between government and society.
As a result of this, every time we object to a thing being done by government, the socialists conclude that we object
to its being done at all. We disapprove of state education. Then the socialists say that we are opposed to any education.
We object to a state religion. Then the socialists say that we want no religion at all. We object to a state-enforced equality.
Then they say that we are against equality. And so on, and so on. It is as if the socialists were to accuse us of not wanting
persons to eat because we do not want the state to raise grain."
from The Law
Interesting that this was written in the 1800s.
Moving to Stage Three
So I'm getting ready to go to the Salem Days meeting Thursday night and the little Mrs. calls me.
"They're not having the meeting tonight, so don't worry about going. Also, they said when they do have the meeting
don't bother going, 'cause they're cancelling the derby. Something about insurance concerns."
I zipped right through Stage One. Are you sure? That can't be right. Did they really say that? You're kidding me.
Stage Two: Oh, well. What're you going to do? I might actually get something done this summer.
Well, now I'm at Stage Three: Pissed.
What a crock! Those dirty, rotten, no good, chicken-thieving . . .
Funny that insurance covers their fireworks and rodeos just fine.
Also I'm trying to reconcile the fact that I'm so pissed off about the government cancelling my derby while blasting
Obama for blasting Bush for not funding stem cell research.
But they own the roads. What am I going to do, shut down a city street on my own?
Just cleaning out my computer and stuffing everything on here.
Here's the RePO (Reid/Pelosi/Obama) Team:
And their supporters (check out what people wear in mug shots):
That's probably enough for today. I'll finish cleaning another time.
The Most Expensive Catastrophes in History
# 11. Titanic - $150 Million
The sinking of the Titanic is possibly the most famous accident in the world. But it barely makes our list of top
10 most expensive. On April 15, 1912, the Titanic sank on its maiden voyage and was considered to be the most luxurious
ocean liner ever built. Over 1,500 people lost their lives when the ship ran into an iceberg and sunk in frigid waters.
The ship cost $7 million to build ($150 million in today ' s dollars).
# 10. Tanker Truck vs Bridge - $358 Million
On August 26, 2004, a car collided with a tanker truck containing 32,000 liters of fuel on the Wiehltal Bridge in Germany .
The tanker crashed through the guardrail and fell 90 feet off the A4 Autobahn resulting in a huge explosion and fire which
destroyed the load-bearing ability of the bridge.
Temporary repairs cost $40 million and the cost to replace the bridge is estimated at $318 Million.
# 9. MetroLink Crash - $500 Million
On September 12, 2008, in what was one of the worst train crashes in California history, 25 people were killed when a
Metrolink commuter train crashed head-on into a Union Pacific freight train in Los Angeles . It is thought that the
Metrolink train may have run through a red signal while the conductor was busy text messaging.
Wrongful death lawsuits are expected to cause $500 million in losses for Metrolink.
# 8. B-2 Bomber Crash - $1.4 Billion
Here we have our first billion dollar accident (and we ' re only #7 on the list). This B-2 stealth bomber crashed
shortly after taking off from an air base in Guam on February 23, 2008. Investigators blamed distorted data in the
flight control computers caused by moisture in the system. This resulted in the aircraft making a sudden nose-up move
which made the B-2 stall and crash.
This was 1 of only 21 ever built and was the most expensive aviation accident in history. Both pilots were able to eject
# 7. Exxon Valdez - $2.5 Billion
The Exxon Valdez oil spill was not a large one in relation to the world ' s biggest oil spills, but it was a costly one
due to the remote location of Prince William Sound (accessible only by helicopter and boat). On March 24, 1989, 10.8
million gallons of oil was spilled when the ship ' s master, Joseph Hazelwood, left the controls and the ship crashed
into a Reef.
The cleanup cost Exxon $2.5 billion.
# 6. Piper Alpha Oil Rig - $3.4 Billion
The world ' s worst off-shore oil disaster. At one time, it was the world ' s single largest oil producer, spewing out
317,000 barrels of oil per day. On July 6, 1988, as part of routine maintenance, technicians removed and checked safety
valves which were essential in preventing dangerous build-up of liquid gas. There were 100 identical safety valves which
were checked. Unfortunately, the technicians made a mistake and forgot to replace one of them.
At 10 PM that same night, a technician pressed a start button for the liquid gas pumps and the world ' s most expensive oil
rig accident was set in motion.
Within 2 hours, the 300 foot platform was engulfed in flames. It eventually collapsed, killing 167 workers and resulting in
$3.4 Billion in damages.
# 5. Challenger Explosion - $5.5 Billion
The Space Shuttle Challenger was destroyed 73 seconds after takeoff due on January 28, 1986 due to a faulty O-ring.
It failed to seal one of the joints, allowing pressurized gas to reach the outside. This in turn caused the external
tank to dump its payload of liquid hydrogen causing a massive explosion. The cost of replacing the Space Shuttle was
$2 billion in 1986 ($4.5 billion in today ' s dollars).
The cost of investigation, problem correction, and replacement of lost equipment cost $450 million from 1986-1987
($1 Billion in today ' s dollars).
# 4. Prestige Oil Spill - $12 Billion
On November 13, 2002, the Prestige oil tanker was carrying 77,000 tons of heavy fuel oil when one of its twelve
tanks burst during a storm off Galicia , Spain . Fearing that the ship would sink, the captain called for help from
Spanish rescue workers, expecting them to take the ship into harbour. However, pressure from local authorities forced the
captain to steer the ship away from the coast. The captain tried to get help from the French and Portuguese authorities,
but they too ordered the ship away from their shores. The storm eventually took its toll on the ship resulting in the
tanker splitting in half and releasing 20 million gallons oil into the sea.
According to a report by the Pontevedra Economist Board, the total cleanup cost $12 billion.
# 3. Space Shuttle Columbia - $13 Billion
The Space Shuttle Columbia was the first space worthy shuttle in NASA ' s orbital fleet. It was destroyed during
re-entry over Texas on February 1, 2003 after a hole was punctured in one of the wings during launch 16 days earlier.
The original cost of the shuttle was $2 Billion in 1978. That comes out to $6.3 Billion in today ' s dollars. $500
million was spent on the investigation, making it the costliest aircraft accident investigation in history. The search
and recovery of debris cost $300 million.
In the end, the total cost of the accident (not including replacement of the shuttle) came out to $13 Billion according to
the American Institute of Aeronautics and Astronautics.
# 2. Chernobyl - $200 Billion
On April 26, 1986, the world witnessed the costliest accident in history. The Chernobyl disaster has been called the biggest
socio-economic catastrophe in peacetime history. 50% of the area of Ukraine is in some way contaminated. Over 200,000 people
had to be evacuated and resettled while 1.7 million people were directly affected by the disaster. The death toll attributed
to Chernobyl , including people who died from cancer years later, is estimated at 125,000.
The total costs including cleanup, resettlement, and compensation to victims has been estimated to be roughly $200 Billion.
The cost of a new steel shelter for the Chernobyl nuclear plant will cost $2 billion alone. The accident was officially
attributed to power plant operators who violated plant procedures and were ignorant of the safety requirements needed.
# 1. 2008 Presidential Election- $800 Billion in the first two months . . .
We Got Your Money!
Shortly after the "Stimulus" bill was passed this scene was observed on the streets of DC.
The occupants of the car were singing "We got your money! We got your money!"
Then this picture was taken on the floor of the senate, shown here with the accompanying comments made at the time.
The projects in the "Stimulus" have been described as "shovel ready," which they are. You just have to understand the meaning
of "shovel ready."
Dead Cat, No Bounce
Whether you believe Obama is a well-meaning idiot (Michael Medved) or an evil dictator (me) you can't argue with the effect of
Keep the Change
You wanted Change?
What you need to remember is: All improvement involves change, but not all change is improvement . . .
(as anyone who has MS Office 2007 will tell you . . . at the top of his voice.)
Judging the Cover by the Books
I went to Barnes & Noble yesterday. You can't swing a dead cat in that store without hitting 17 different books sucking up to
Obama. They are stacked everywhere. They even have a pile of newspapers, sealed in plastic, from the day after the election
proclaiming that he'd won. Yeah, who saw that one coming? Seriously, they had newspapers sealed in plastic.
But when you think about it you realize: That's good news.
Here's the supporting data for that being good news. I couldn't find the books I went in there for. They were sold out of
Ann Coulter's Guilty and Jonah Goldberg's Liberal Fascism. Those books they can't keep on the shelves.
Of course they had plenty of the tabloid adulation for Obama—nobody's buying it. At least not in my part of the country.
Which is exactly why I live here.
Figuring it Out
You know, of course, that
the Earth is the stationary center of the
Universe. That's easy enough to see. You look up in the sky and, sure enough, the Sun revolves around the Earth, as
do all the stars. But some of those pesky little lights you see in the sky don't seem to follow the right paths.
(Refresh to run path again)
The ancient Greeks called them planets, meaning "wanderers," because that's what they did. They wandered around. It was
hard to figure out what they were doing.
Hard, but not impossible. A really smart guy named Ptolemy came up with
where he described the motion of these planets using between 34 and 80 circles (epicycles) that ran around inside each other.
So now we've got it figured out. We have a complicated mathematical model that allows us to explain all the oddities
while maintaining the idea that the Earth is the center of the Universe.
So I'm trying to develop a system like that to explain politics. We know for a fact that there is no media bias.
But it can be confusing, if you don't understand the mathematics.
Republican Mark Foley, who resigned after sending some inappropriate text message to a page, is a dirty, rotten sexual pervert.
Democrat Barney Frank, who ran a gay prostitution ring out of his home, is a stalwart patriotic member of Congress.
Republican George Bush was a warmonger for going into Iraq. Democrat Bill Clinton, was a foreign policy genius for
bombing the same country (among others).
So that's what I'm working on. At first I thought that it was just progression. The press, that use to think that the
Republican US President was nothing more than a target for childish insults, now realize that the democrat president
deserves respect. That would be progress. And you could even explain the disgusting slobbering over the current president
as just acknowledgment of how wrong they were. They're just trying to make up for the reprehensible way they treated Bush.
Then you have Hillary. Back in the 90s she maintained that whatever the Presidents did (plural at that Eva Peron period
in our history) was not subject to review. She then progressed to the view that ". . . we're Americans, and we have the
right to debate and disagree with any administration!"
See, that's progress.
But now she's back to saying that if you question anything the administration does, you're unpatriotic. It's exactly
like the planets suddenly moving backwards.
That's why I'm sure I can come up with a mathematical model like Ptolemy did for why when democrats do something it's
laudable and when Republicans do the same thing it's evil.
Maybe you have to factor in the participant's age, place of birth, and hair color . . . that sort of thing. So when
Republican Larry Craig solicited sex in an airport, take his age, divide by systolic blood pressure reading, add
date of birth in hexadecimal, then divide by the number of letters in "Idaho," and Bingo! It was a serious breach
of trust for a public official that required that he resign.
Then when democrat Bill Clinton was banging interns in the Oval Office, you take the number of letters in "Arkansas,"
divided by the number of husbands his mom had, add the number of terms he served as governor . . . Voila! It was only
sex, which is a private matter.
Once you get it all figured out I'm sure it will explain why it was noble and laudable for fictitious Al Gore supporter
Murphy Brown to have a baby out of wedlock. But Republican Sarah Palin's daughter is a slut for doing the same thing.
It might help us understand why Viagra in Rush Limbaugh's suitcase is something that warrants headlines, but John Edwards
having an illegitimate child is not a news item. And it could give us some insight into why Republican Trent Lott is a racist
for saying nice things to an old man at a birthday part, but democrat Robert Byrd is not a racist for being in the Ku Klux Klan.
It might account for recounts that confirm Republican George Bush won being "stealing an election," but not recounts that
generate new votes that were never cast for democrat Al Franken.
It might even explain why directly quoting democrat Michelle Obama is "hurtful and vindictive," but fabricating stories
that Republican Sarah Palin faked a pregnancy to cover for her daughter is not.
Like I said, I don't do politics anymore. It's just math.
On Being Needy
You know the scoop. You read Partners in Power and The Dysfunctional President. Clinton is an
adult child of an alcoholic (ACOA).
His unceasing craving for approbation comes out of his childhood—being raised by an abusive grandmother, having a
mother who didn't care about him and a stepfather who thumped on her.
Now we've got Obama . . . let's see, worthless old man, absent, raised by his grandmother . . .
Hmmm . . .
And he's got this unceasing yearning for everyone to worship him.
Bush went about his business and didn't get in our faces a lot. He was justifiably criticized for not communicating to
us enough what he was doing. But he figured we were adults. He'd do his thing and leave us alone to do ours.
Contrast that to Obama, who is following Hollywood's lead of holding a ceremony honoring himself every week.
He needs to be worshipped, and the way he gets that it by setting himself up as our hero. We don't get tax breaks for
charitable contributions. Leave that up to the government. Whatever you need, the government will take care of you. You
need me. I'll take care of you. Worship me.
It's like the very bright wife of a close personal friend of mine observed: "A needy president makes for a needy country."
Better Living Through Pharmaceuticals
Here's the problem with needing stuff . . . You are a slave to whatever gives you what you need. And the more you get the
more you crave.
It's called addiction.
Funny thing about addictive substances—if they didn't have some allure they wouldn't be addictive. Besides being alluring,
they have to convince you that you need them, and they have to convince you that they aren't bad or addictive.
So let's say you are an addictive substance. If you want to be a successful addictive substance, you can't let your host
catch on to the truth. To be a really successful addictive substance you have to shut down his reasoning. The substance
itself deadens the user to the fact that it's a bad thing.
Both steps are critical. Get the victim to take the substance, then don't allow the victim to see what the substance is
If you are watching a person being stoned it's pretty clear that he's out of it. It's pretty clear you don't want to be
in that situation. But to the stoned person he's being perfectly rational. And charming. And coherent.
What's that? Why yes, as a matter of fact I do think of the press when I hear the word "Irrational." I'm sure
Chris Matthews thought he was being eloquent when he talked about the chills running up his leg. To everyone else it
was pretty obvious: Stoned outta' his mind.
When I was in Argentina I thought a lot about the horrible poverty I saw there. They have a middle class, but it's not a
majority. Most of the country is poor or rich. I wondered why would anyone choose to live there, when you had countries
like the US. Then it occurred to me: Because with a mediocre level of intelligence you can be at the top of the manure heap.
Equality is a big enemy of a system that allows mediocre people to be on top of the heap.
That's why I maintain that the Democrat party is not one bit democratic. Can you imagine Hillary wanting people to be able
to express their opinion about what she does? But it's called democrat. It's a trick. In order to make you drink the
substance they have to convince you they esteem you as equals.
Just like a bill called "Stimulus." Even if you buy the Keynesian philosophy that would prompt such a bill, look at
this particular bill. It's not a prescription for economic stimulus. What it is is a prescription for a society where
the middle class is weakened to the point they can't pose a threat to those in control.
Once you are in control you tailor the situation to make it impossible to lose control
Obama's aim is the same as all demorats—stay in power. But in this case he has an additional advantage that Clinton
(pardon my language) didn't have. He has free rein to trash the country without damaging his legacy. The press has
already painted him as a hero. He has no motivation for lifting a middle class he has not stake in, and no danger of
going down in history as anything but an amalgam of Mother Teresa, Gandhi, Martin Luther King and Moses.
Here's a game I play: What's the difference? A guy is standing over a dead person holding a knife. He says "I came on
the scene and pulled the knife out of his chest to try to save him." That's what he'd say if that's what happened. But
if he stabbed the guy he'd say the same thing.
Obama says he wants to "re-make" the country to make it better. Only the things he's doing seem to benefit him more than
me. Is he well-intentioned and stupid or brilliant and evil?
That's the power of masking: of course you don't know about it! That's the proof that it's a conspiracy.
Do I really think he's that evil?
Let's Be Reasonable
I like Michael Medved. He's level-headed, he's reasonable, he's moderate (in the good sense of the word) and he's rational
in his thought.
Medved says that you have to believe that Obama has the country's best interests at heart. He says that you exclude
yourself from the political process if you take any other position, like that he intends to make us a socialist nation.
Medved is a reasonable, practical guy.
I don't have to be. I'm not on the radio, nobody reads my website. Anybody that did wouldn't want to hear me be practical
Face it. It's 10:30 at night. Which channel are you going to watch, the one with Nightline or The Family Guy?
Welcome to the Soviet Union
Check your rights at the door
Something else that very bright wife of a close personal friend of mine observed. I was talking about how weird it is
that the press is all over trying to get a Soviet style government—the kind of government that doesn't allow freedom of
I was talking about how it's against the rules to criticize Obama. I said that it wasn't far from the Soviet Union, where
if you disagreed with the government you just disappeared.
The wife of my close personal friend pointed out that I'd answered my own question. The media ahead of the curve, already
behaving like that time is here.
(But it's not--just ask Joe the Plumber . . . )
Now that I've wasted an hour of my time and 15 minutes of yours, I'll just cut and paste this story:
The little red hen called all of her Democrat neighbors together and said,
"If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me
"Not I," said the cow.
"Not I," said the duck.
"Not I," said the pig.
"Not I," said the goose.
"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen, and so she
did. The wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain.
"Who will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen.
"Not I," said the duck.
"Out of my pay grade," said the pig.
"I'd lose my seniority," said the cow.
"I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose.
"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen, and so she did.
At last it came time to bake the bread. "Who will help me bake the bread?" asked the little red hen.
"That would be overtime for me," said the cow.
"I'd lose my welfare benefits," said the duck.
"I'm a dropout and never learned how," said the pig.
"If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination," said the goose.
"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen.
She baked five loaves and held them up for all of her neighbors to see. They
wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share. But the little red hen said,
"No, I shall eat all five loaves."
"Excess profits!" cried the cow (Who looked a lot like Nancy Pelosi).
"Capitalist leech!" screamed the duck. (Who sounded a lot like Barbara Boxer)
"I demand equal rights!" yelled the goose (who stuttered just like Jesse Jackson).
The pig just grunted in disdain (looking, smelling, and sounding a lot like Ted Kennedy).
And they all painted 'Unfair!' picket signs and marched around and
around the little red hen, shouting obscenities.
Then Barack O'Farmer came along (ta-dah! Accompanied by throngs of heavenly choruses) (that looked a lot like the press, come to think of it). He said to the little red hen, "You must not be so greedy."
"But I earned the bread," said the little red hen.
"Exactly," said Barack O'Farmer. "That is what makes our free
enterprise system so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he
wants. But under our modern government regulations, the productive workers must
divide the fruits of their labor with those who are lazy and idle."
And they all lived happily ever after, including the little red hen, who smiled
and clucked, "I am grateful, for now I truly understand."
Although her neighbors became quite disappointed in her, she never again baked
bread because she joined the 'party' and got her bread free. And all
the Democrats smiled. 'Fairness' had been established.
Bill Clinton is got $12 million for his memoirs.
Hillary got $8 million for hers.
That's $20 million for the memories of two people who, for eight years,
repeatedly testified under oath that they couldn't remember anything.
More Random Thoughts
Here's another thought I had. You remember that sound the kids use on their cell phones that adults can't hear? Well,
I found a sound the kids can't hear:
My voice telling them to do something.
Spreading my Ideas
You know the score. These big name talk radio people can't mention me by name. But we all know where they get their ideas.
For example, Rush, among others, is now taking up my warning that we are living an Ayn Rand novel.
And just this morning Laura Ingraham was helping me spread the alarm about the effect of Obama on the middle class.
You remember my (brilliant) observations about what I saw in Argentina and how that's the kind of society Obama wants,
where there is no powerful middle class to threaten his regal status. The last thing democrats want is a democratic society.
And whether by accident or design, the plan they're aggressively pursuing will lead to that by weakening the middle class.
Laura took up my banner on that this morning.
And Michael Savage is also following my example, claiming to be the source of everyone else's ideas.
More Efficient Blogging
Even the random, waste of your time, thoughts that I have take up more of my time than it's worth to post. So I've finally
clued in to the efficient way to blog. Just copy and paste stuff someone else has already written.
Like this item I got in my inbox:
A priest checks into a hotel and says to the receptionist "I hope the porn channel on my TV is disabled."
She replies "No sir, it's just ordinary porn, you sick pervert."
A few years after I was born, my Dad met a stranger who was new to our small Texas town. From the beginning, Dad was
fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted
and was around from then on.
As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In my young mind, he had a special niche. My parents were complementary
instructors: Mom taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey.
But the stranger...he was our storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with adventures, mysteries and comedies.
If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science, he always knew the answers about the past, understood the
present and even seemed able to predict the future! He took my family to the first major league ball game. He made me laugh,
and he made me cry.
The stranger never stopped talking, but Dad didn't seem to mind.
Sometimes, Mom would get up quietly while the rest of us were shushing each other to listen to what he had to say, and she
would go to the kitchen for peace and quiet. (I wonder now if she ever prayed for the stranger to leave)
Dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions, but the stranger never felt obligated to honor them. Profanity, for
example, was not allowed in our home... Not from us, our friends or any visitors. Our longtime visitor, however, got away with
four-letter words that burned my ears and made my dad squirm and my mother blush.
My Dad didn't permit the liberal use of alcohol. But the stranger encouraged us to try it on a regular Basis. He made cigarettes
look cool, cigars manly and pipes distinguished.
He talked freely (much too freely!) about sex. His comments were sometimes blatant, sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing.
I now know that my early concepts about relationships were influenced strongly by the stranger. Time after time, he opposed
the values of my parents, yet he was seldom rebuked.. And NEVER asked to leave.
More than fifty years have passed since the stranger moved in with our family. He has blended right in and is not nearly as
fascinating as he was at first. Still, if you could walk into my parents' den today, you would still find him sitting over in
his corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his pictures.
We just call him 'TV.'
A Letter from an American Law Student
I saved this one for last. It's kind of long and not likely to be read. Not that it isn't good, it's just -- who has the time?
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, and other Obama supporters,
We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I
want a divorce.
I know, we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but, sadly, this relationship has run its
course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot, and will not ever agree on what is right, so let's just end it on friendly
terms. We can smile, chalk it up to irreconcilable differences, and go our own way.
Here is a model separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but
after that it should be relatively easy! We can effortlessly divide other assets since we have such distinct and disparate tastes.
We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate
guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore-on, and Rosie
O'Donnell (You however, are responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).
We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street. You can have your beloved
homeless, homeboys, hippies, and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's, and rednecks.
We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.
You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can
have the peaceniks, and war protesters.
We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, and Shirley McClaine. You can also
have the U.N. But we will no longer be paying the bill.
We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine,"
"I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing," "Kum Ba Ya," or "We Are the World."
We'll practice trickle-down economics, and you can give trickle-up poverty your best shot.
And since it often so offends you we'll keep our history, our name, and our flag.
Sincerely, John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P.S. Please take Barbara Streisand.
We can't expect the American people to jump from Capitalism to Communism, but we can assist their elected leaders in giving
them small doses of Socialism until they awaken one day to find they have Communism.
-Nikita Khrushchev, 1959
If you've made it this far
One more random thought.
I don't have a goatee. That's the way you can find me in a crowded airport. I'm the one adult male left in America that
doesn't have a goatee.
You know why I don't have a goatee? Because everyone else does.
The reason this is fascinating to you is because that's the same mentality that causes me to cling to this lame ol'
self-created blog format.
Every computer illiterate pizza delivery boy with rubber band tires and a spoiler on his rice burner has downloaded the same cookie
cutter blog that someone else created for him.