Is it that time already?
Sometimes I'll be minding my own business and the thought will occur to me "Oh, yeah, I have a blog."
You wouldn't know it by how seldom I post here. But honestly, anyone who has to listen to
me could tell you it's a blessing to just check in here to NOT hear me spout my opinion.
Let's have dessert first and start out with the palette cleanser this time.
Obama's Back of the Bus Tour
Four Years of Bad Economy
Please Don't Eat the Daisies
I love Erma Bombeck's concept of "Please don't eat the daisies." There are certain things that
you really shouldn't have to be explicitly told not to do.
To my own list of those things I would probably add "If you are a guest at my house, please do not
torment my animals."
Is that so unreasonable?
I discovered that I can readily classify people as good or bad by how they treat animals. I'd like to say
that same thing about people who ding my car with their doors. Trouble is, that's not true.
Every time I see a new ding in my car I have some distinctly un-Christian feelings. Now you and I both
know that Satan smiles every time a car door is dinged, but I can't believe that it's very often done
out of maliciousness. Probably mostly out of carelessness.
If you tell anyone that I said that door dingers aren't necessarily evil, I swear I will deny it. But
that doesn't leave me any resolution, does it? The fact remains that someone has thoughtlessly damaged
something I care about.
So I guess I can still despise them, I'm still a sociopathic schmuck, and the Universe is still in balance.
Phew! That was a close one.
My brother ended up with an extra fridge and asked me if I wanted it. I told him "You know, just last week
my wife was saying we needed an extra fridge in the house."
You'll recognize that as the prescribed answer that any self-respecting wiseacre gives when presented with a
ridiculous question. So my brother said "So, 'no' then. I guess that was pretty silly. Just thought
The funny thing is that just last week my wife had said we could use an extra fridge. So we got the
fridge and we greatly appreciated it.
Brilliant humorists like myself understand that in order for silly things to be really funny they have to be
presented deadpan. So when they started saying "Bill Clinton has Sexual Addiction Syndrome" I just figured
the liberals had finally developed a sense of humor.
But they were as serious about that as I had been about the fridge.
Really? Show me someone who doesn't suffer from that malady. The problem is that unless you have a
syndrome you are responsible for your behavior. So what we have now is a fabricated syndrome or a malady
that relieves you from accountability for anything you want to do.
I was at a training seminar once where everyone was "sharing" and this wonderful older lady started talking
about the tough year her family had had. She said that her grandson had been diagnosed with . . . then she
I, along with everyone else in the room, held my breath to hear what awful disease her young grandson had
been stricken with. Was it cancer? Muscular Dystrophy? Leukemia? It had to be Leukemia. How awful. What a
terrible trial for the family.
She finally managed to gasp that he had been diagnosed with ADD.
I almost laughed out loud. Probably half of the response was just from relief. ADD? You don't get
"diagnosed" with ADD.
ADD is like Clintonian Sexual Juvenilitosis, which is diagnosed not by body chemistry, but by behavior.
Which brings us to the point of this post (and not a paragraph too soon): Behavior.
This is the same old thing I'm always flapping my jaws about: You've got what you were born with, and you've
got your choices (and their consequences). So you have a condition that makes it easier to behave in a way other
than what's appropriate. What does that mean, functionally?
Whatever condition you might have doesn't change what behavior is tolerable.
I became aware of this trick back in the 80's when some guy was on trial for killing people on the subway.
His defense was "You're only prosecuting me because I'm black."
Maybe somewhere in The Law there is a comprehensive list of crimes that black people are allowed
to commit that white people are prohibited from committing. (The black trash who were rioting in Philadelphia
probably know right where that is.)
Similarly, maybe somewhere there's a list of atrocities a person can commit because a lazy doctor pronounced
that he has ADD.
I have a sneaking suspicion that when the kid leaves home the cops that have to deal with him won't be
familiar with that list.
Quote of the Day
Circumstances don't make the man--they reveal him.
Previews of coming attractions
And that's all we have time for today, kids. Tune in next . . . uh . . . year, when we'll talk about
"Inspire not Require" and how I became an apostate from the Church of Oliver deMille.
In my own personal credendum there is a line that says "I can readily classify people as good or bad
by how they treat animals."
Have you ever noticed how whenever someone gets caught by the cops it's the cop's fault?
To the guy in jail, who is the bad guy? That's right, it's the cop. It's all the cop's fault that he's sitting in this jail. That stupid cop, what a putz, he wouldn't be there if it weren’t for that stupid cop, all his fault, what a putz . . .
Am I right or what?
Years ago a biker named Francis (I'm not kidding) explained to me that in the American judicial system the accused is tried by a Jury of the Norm. He said that a true "Jury of your Peers" would never convict you. A jury that consisted of people who all had your exact outlook and experience would have done just what you did under the circumstances.
Maybe this is a follow-up to the Free Will postings of late. (Or maybe not.) Something happened, you reacted a certain way . . . given your experience and background you did exactly what you thought you had to do, like you had no real choice. Anyone with exactly your brain and your background and experiences would have done the same thing.
This is the classic case of evil people don't ever believe they are evil. It's typically called rationalization or justification. The part I want to talk about is the tendency of evil people to make everyone else the bad guy.
You also remember that I remember exactly one line from every movie. (From The Departed it was "I'm –ing Irish; I'll deal with something being wrong for my whole life." From A Beautiful Mind it was the scene where he gets confirmation from a student that a guy was standing there. Also the "what's the good of being nuts if you can't have fun with it?")
Well, here's the line I took away from Pretty Woman. In that movie Julia Roberts played a whore. I think that's the word for someone who has sex with strangers for money. Yes, I'm quite sure that's the word.
She played a whore who, in exchange for money, engaged in an act that could be defined as "A physical act that becomes a spiritual experience shared by two and only two people who love and are committed to each other." Richard Gere comes along and rents her services for a week, then he has to leave. So Julia Roberts gets all offended and says something like "That's the first time you've treated me like a whore."
Everyone in the theater was supposed to gasp and think how awful and what a prick this Richard Gere's character is.
I thought "Duh."
Hey, if you really don't want people think you're a whore maybe you should pick a different profession.
Obligatory new post section to prevent boredom
Speaking of whores and evil people . . . a renter who used to live in my neighborhood was recently evicted for not paying the rent. 'Turns out even the most lenient and patient landlord has his limit.
So she got hauled into court, but when she got there she magically had all the money that she owed for all the rent she had blown off. But she was in for a surprise. The judge asked the landlord if he was good with taking the money and letting her stay. He said nope, she had to go.
So she had all the money, but when she moved out she never paid a dime. In her mind that was completely justified because that dirty SOB of a landlord kicked her out.
Just an observation
Everyone knows people who fall into the category of "I don't care whether they live or die." Other people you might have developed some preference about . . .
This looks like a good place for a break
That "It's all the cop's fault" attitude isn't limited to people in jail. You might know a woman who's married to a guy with cranial recumitis. He's a total scumbag, and everyone knows it. But isn't it interesting that whenever he gets wind that someone knows he's a waste of skin, he's probably all over his wife. "Are you telling so 'n' so bad things about me?!"
You gonna' finish that?
So I'm walking by this big construction dumpster at work the other day, and I do what anybody else in that situation (see the theme?) would do. I look in it.
Why would I want to see if there's something I can take that someone else threw out?
'Cause it's free—it's easy. It's free for the taking. You can have it without any of the effort usually associated with acquiring things.
That's the gal at the party who's dressed like a slut. She's kinda' sorrry looking, but she's free for the taking.
Maybe you think that I just compared certain human beings to trash in a dumpster. Did you? Did you really think that?
Just making sure you were paying attention.
Senator Barack Obama on the debt limit.
This is rich. Honestly, I thought it was somebody making it up. It sounded like that deal that went around about Governor Bloggo and Obama—just too clean and simple and hypocritical to be true. I had to check it out. While a senator, Barack Obama said this:
The fact that we are here today to debate raising America’s debt limit is a sign of leadership failure. It is a sign that the U.S. Government can’t pay its own bills. It is a sign that we now depend on ongoing financial assistance from foreign countries to finance our Government’s reckless fiscal policies. … Increasing America’s debt weakens us domestically and internationally. Leadership means that “the buck stops here.” Instead, Washington is shifting the burden of bad choices today onto the backs of our children and grandchildren. America has a debt problem and a failure of leadership. Americans deserve better.
Check out the link. As usual, some of the best stuff is found in the comments. You can't believe how the liberals—the same liberals who were at Bush's throat for everything—are saying that this is just an example of how we twist things around. Ann Coulter (among others—she likely didn't coin the phrase) was exactly right. To make a conservative look bad, make up lies about what they say. To make a liberal look bad, simply accurately report what they say.
Click "Prev" below to go to earlier posts