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4.27.17

Say, it seems like it's been awhile since I posted.

I honestly just haven't felt like it. That's actually an improvement; better than feeling driven to post opinions that don't matter for people who don't care. Almost like I'm maturing or something.

Interestingly enough, it seems like my last post was right after the inauguration . . .

As I think about it I'm coming to the conclusion that it's not a coincidence. I really have kind of lost interest in the whole bizarre thing because I still can't accept this is the world we now live in. If anything, the situation has become more important than ever, but I feel like . . . well, you know that junior high stunt when someone's chewing their food and they open their mouth to show you? "Train wreck!" I've gotta tell you, I've had to look away.

The election of Donald Trump was a much more historic event than that of Obama. Donald Trump is a far greater departure from the norm than Barack Obama was, in spite of Obama's whining assertions to the contrary ("They'll say I don't look like other Presidents!" Wah.).

The logical flow of prose would dictate that this paragraph outline the ways he's different—his background, experience, personality, style. But you don't need a paragraph. It's freaking Donald Trump. That's your explanation.

ADD Moment: Have you gotten to the point yet where you hear "Today President Trump . . ." and you don't feel like you're listening to a parody?

The man is crazy. If you know someone who disagrees with that assessment, you need to be very careful of that person. He is a lunatic.

But here's the deal: it just may be a lunatic we're looking for . . . in the words of the philosopher William Joel.

A lunatic is exactly what we're looking for. We tried sanity. It didn't work.

And that's what pisses me off. The disgusting thing about the whole absurd situation that the United States of America is in, is how we got here. Why have we come to a point where we actually need a Donald Trump as President?

It was a choice of starving or eating a crap sandwich.

I've been over this more times than you care to read about. Yeah, once. You know the deal. Desperate times call for desperate measures. The majority of the population of this right of center country got sick of being shut out of the process, got sick of being played for a chump, said "Enough." The democrats gave us Donald Trump.

Okay, just to clarify, sentences like "Donald Trump is a lunatic" or "The man is crazy" might give you the impression that I think Donald Trump is crazy. But I am really glad he's President. I really am.

I just can't watch.

I've always been proud to be an American. It means something. America is power and dignity and goodness. It's decorum and class. It's not that crappy sand-cast machinery that's manufactured in India. It's not that soggy cardboard that smells funny that they make in China. It's not the gritty germ-infested food you get in a grocery store in Mexico. Or mobs marching in the streets in Venezuela.

Call it patriotism, call it xenophobia. I like living in a place that's clean and classy and safe and orderly.

Does any of that sound like Donald Trump?

Donald Trump is a mess.

He's like someone you see rise violently to power in lesser countries, wearing a thrift store military uniform, crazy and unpredictable. No offense to Lech Walesa, but Trump reminds me of him; not the refined, experienced Senator or Governor who has a press secretary instead of tweeting his every emotion like an eighth grade girl.

Barack Obama, there's the image of an American President. Seriously. Dressed well, looked good, spoke well, good sense of humor, kind of a sense of boundaries and decorum. Too bad the guy was a crybaby and a socialist and a narcissist and inept and incompetent. Unprepared. Close-minded. A liar. A coward. An America hater. He looked like an American President should look. But he was a whited sepulcher.

And he gave us Donald Trump.

Once you finish this riveting blog post, go get a copy of The Empty Land, by Louis L'Amour. And get a highlighter. Read the book. Highlight passages, and put notes in the margins. Write a term paper on it as a metaphor for government.

Here's what's happened in the little Old West town called America. The bad guys took over. They ruled by bullying and intimidation. We wanted a sheriff who would reason things out, be soft-spoken and friendly, not used violence or gunplay. But the bad guys figured out that the citizens were chumps, and they could do whatever the Hell they pleased and no one could stop them.

We wanted a sheriff who was polished; we needed a sheriff who didn't play by the rules that the bad guys made up.

That's not the kind of town we want, but we couldn't sit still for the kind of town we had. The hope is that once the sheriff cleans up the town he'll move on, and we can get back to our quiet little town with schools and churches and a sheriff who sits on the jailhouse porch with his boots up on the hitching rail.

A guard dog is great to keep the bad guys away, but you always worry it's going to bite the kids.

Read the book. Quit wasting your time on a stupid blog. (That would be good advice for me to heed)

I'm starting to remember why I haven't blogged in a long time. Something to do with being incapable of distilling my thoughts into coherent writing.

So Bill O'Reilly gets ousted from Fox. Don't waste your money on that crystal ball advertised in the back of the comic book, you know what happens next. Like zombies rising from a swamp you get people coming forward saying "Oh, I remember that I was sexually harassed, too!"

You know the deal. The rape hoax. Sexual harassment is never acceptable. Roger Ailes is probably a huge pile of crap. I've heard some pretty reliable stories about his scumbaggery.

But we're not fooled. We know exactly what's going on here. Nobody who's pushing these allegations gives a flying crap about sexual harassment. They want Fox News gone. Sexual harassment is a very useful tool. You've seen them play this game. Global warming, poverty, women's rights . . . the left gets off on starving children and pestilence and misery because they're phenomenal tools for them to garner power.

Fox News is a threat to the left's monopoly on information, and their ideas can't survive inspection or debate.

Geez, if you need me to tell you this you've been in a coma for a long time. Thank you so much for choosing my blog as the first thing to read from your hospital bed once the ventilator came out.

Take Chuck Shumer (Please, take Chuck Shumer) (Geez, I slay me). The man's picture is in the Wikipedia entry for "Fool." Pick your own favorite from his greatest hits; the man would kill to have an IQ as high as Forrest Gump's. "This legislation shouldn't be rammed down people's throats without debate or bi-partisan support! That's not how we do things." Uh . . . it's exactly how you do things (you freaking moron).

Or Maxine Waters, talking about how we don't need a President who's not prepared for the position with no experience or ability to do the job who spends all his time golfing. Yeah! right! Wait . . . uh, who are you talking about? (You freaking moron).

These people are idiots. They are not misguided or subscribing to a different worldview. They are brainless freaking idiots, incapable of rational thought, and the last thing they need is a network that questions the absurdities they spout.

So, it's clear to everyone what's going on here. They got O'Reilly, they're going after Hannity. Then they're going to go after the next guy . . . and the next . . . and the next. And every time there's going to be a bunch of people coming forward saying that they all of a sudden remembered they were wronged, too.

You saw this with the guy who got dragged off the United plane. For three days everybody and their grandmother's dog had a story about how United had done them wrong, too.

Okay, for those of you who are not my imaginary loyal readers, let me explain the This-is-Not-That here. If someone is sexually harassed the person who did it should be punished. Like Hillary says. (See what I did here?)

But people shouldn't embellish a situation to try to get it more attention.

But wait, if it's a serious problem shouldn't we exaggerate it to give it more attention? Nope. Because that has exactly the opposite effect.

But the boy who cries wolf damages real victims.

That's people. They want to hop on a bandwagon before it leaves.

It's a funny thing—Remember back when Bill Clinton was being accused of all the bad things . . . that he was guilty of? The fact that he was such a scumbag worked to his benefit, because there was an endless stream of disclosures. A reasonable person watching would say "Oh, c'mon! Now you're just piling on."

This is not that. The Clintonista types who are trying to take down Fox News are not smart enough to understand these concepts, but it won't hurt them. When they really are piling on in this case it won't evoke sympathy for the ones they are attacking.

I may not have that all fully figured out yet.

Okay, case in point. "Clintonista" is a perfectly apt characterization of the type of people who for their own nefarious reasons would support a Clinton. But it has the sounds of a third world situation, like Peronista Argentina or Venezuela or someplace where the President wears a military uniform from the costume closet of a comedy show. That's what those peoole have done to this country. That's what pisses me off.

I can't even remember what I was thinking when I had the brilliant idea for this post . . .

But I will make this point one more time—for my imaginary readers who are wondering why I've only mentioned the This-is-not-That concept 23 times so far in this post. The reason a counterfeit can work is because there's an authentic article to mimic. Like piling on. In Clinton's case we werren't piling on; he really was that awful. But piling on is a real concept, so they were able to masquerade it.

Anyway . . . back to the laser-focus analysis of . . . whatever I was flapping my gums about.

So the left wants Fox News gone. But we already established that those on the left are idiots. In fact, that's why they want Fox News gone-because they can't survive the examination of their idiocy. And, being idiots, they aren't able to think through the consequences of their actions.

It's like the guy who was overrun with spiders, so he exterminated all the spiders at this place. Now, this guy didn't have the extensive and comprehensive background in biology and zoology that you and I have. Had he known what we know, he'd know that the Bleeb-jiggered fobble womp is the spider's natural prey. And after getting rid of all the spiders he found himself overrun with Bleeb-jiggered fobble womps.

America is full of conservatives. They go to Fox News because it gives them an alternative to the fake news that causes them a cosmic dissonance to listen to. It just obviously isn't right. America needs an alternative to the lies that are being foisted on us.

If you get rid of Fox News you're going to get something you like even less.

I'm not sure what it looks like, but I do have a basis for predicting that it won't be good.

Those of you thinking it would be utopia if Fox News were gone: Remember how getting your dream socialist in office got you Donald Trump? Do you like Donald Trump?

Well, that was your doing. You have the thanks of a grateful nation.

:-/

. . . from the animal kingdom.

Years ago I was mowing the lawn and came across a deposit my dog had left for me. I shut off the lawn mower and was grousing while I cleaned it up. My little girl went over to the dog and whacked her on the nose. "Bad dog!" The dog had no clue what was going on.

Dogs have very small brains dedicated to sniffing out disgusting things for them to eat. Unless you administer the punishment right in the act of the crime, they don't have the capacity to make the association. Even then, it has to happen multiple times.

Life is like that. Consequences are delayed so that only intelligent people can benefit from the association.

Democrats are not smart enough to see that they gave us Donald Trump. They aren't smart enough to see what would happen in the alternate universe where they were able to take down Fox News. They don't get to benefit from that understanding.

And second . . .

The spiders and their prey. I was going to use wasps as the example, but they serve no useful purpose in the ecosystem.

Years ago when I bought my farm I decided I would live and let live. The wasps where there when I moved in, I would leave them alone. They would go about their business and I would go about mine and we'd be just fine.

Then my little girl was walking past a window, far away from the wasp nest in the window, and one stung her.

Change of policy.

Any wasps that I knew about died. I would wait until they were asleep or too cold to defend themselves and I'd kill them. I would kill their unborn young. If I knew about a wasp nest I destroyed it and killed all of its inhabitants.

Why? Because wasps are too stupid to know I mean them no harm.

I could live side by side with them, but they saw me as a threat when I was not. So they have to die.

I may have figured out a marketing strategy to get more readers, (cause, you know, it's such a benefit to me to have readers. "I lose money every transaction, but I can make it up in volume!")

Liberals may start reading this because that's the kind of line that they think precedes a headline. Then they can point back to my "hate-filled" blogs and pine about how terrible it is that people are allowed to have their own opinions.

They aren't smart enough to understand that the cruelest act I'll ever commit is being a nice guy, so their screwed up little worldview doesn't get validated.

Note to any imaginary liberals reading: The best is about to come.

My daughter once asked why God created wasps. I told her it was to satisfy Daddy's need to kill things.

(Oh, it gets better. Read on.)

Islamists are the wasps of the human world. They don't produce anything but pain and carnage. And they attack because they are stupid and evil.

Bees produce honey. They'll sting to protect their home and product of their labor. Wasps don't produce anything. They sting because they are evil creatures and they are too stupid to understand they aren't being threatened.

Now go run to Media Matters and tell them how horrible I am. And spell my name right. It's "Keith Olbermann."

These have absolutely no relevance anymore, but I saved them to post, so . . . you know the rules.